Most Americans do not take bullying seriously. Sadly, school personnel don’t take it seriously either. One of the most common myths about bullying is that it is “habitual” and “everybody does it.” Nothing could be further from the truth.
Children with special needs may become the victim of a bully. If your child has been, or is, being victimized, he or she feels alone, unsafe and may even feel the persecution is justified. The things of bullying impression mental and physical shape and literary performance, evenly for many years after the actual incidents occur.
Who is a bully and what is bullying
Only about 15 to 20 percent of children are ever involved in bullying, either as a victim or as the bullying child. Bullies are children who have not urban the typical internal restraint system that other children have. Male bullies tend to favor physical aggression, while female bullies tend to strike at a victims’ social standing and friendships.
Bullies start their pattern of aggressive behavior at an early age, and take up again the pattern of intimidation for many years. A well-known Norwegian psychologist who pioneered the study of bullying and how to stop it, Dr. Dan Olweus, identified three basic elements of bullying—bullying involves: 1) a pattern of aggressive behavior, 2) from a child in a spot of power directed towards a child in a weaker spot, 3) with the intention to do harm.
Why does a child become the victim of a bully
Up until about age seven bullies pick on anyone. Between the ages of eight and 16, bullies target specific kids. Those who become targets are more sensitive, alert, and silent than other kids, and more nervous. They also have a negative view of violence, withdrawing from confrontations of any kind and crying when threatened or attacked. When confronted, they are gripped with dread.
The effect of bullying on a child can be loneliness, poor shape, depression, anxiety and poor learning
Being bullied leads to feeling nervous which then increases the child’s vulnerability to further persecution because bullies single out nervous kids. The difficulty victims have in sticking up for themselves seems to make other kids uncomfortable, and gradually, victims of bullying are rejected by their peers and become increasingly isolated and lonely. Research shows that social isolation and rejection produce severe stress.
Children being bullied dread going to school and have stress-induced illnesses such as stomachaches, and headaches. Even after the bullying ends, children who have been bullied are prone to depression and negative self-concept.
It is becoming more clear that children who are victimized have had limited practice in handling conflict. Children need to be given opportunity to solve their own problems. Over-defending parenting can erode a child’s critical problem-solving skills. But, overly strict discipline techniques have the same effect because they limit a child’s chances to learn how to interact and deal with disagreements and conflict.
How to Handle a Bully
Most of the following tips come from an article in print in Psychology Today by Hara Estroff Marano.
What Children Can Do:
What Parents Can Do: