In a previous article, I talked about some of the anti-bullying messages from the classic movie trilogy, Back to the Future. Here’s the other half of the lesson:
* SOMETIMES, YOU NEED MORE THAN WORDS TO MAKE YOUR POINT. George McFly irrevocably makes his stand when he discovers his sweetie being assaulted by Biff in a parked car at the school dance. Who can forget George dramatically closing his fingers into a solid fist, and delivering one of the most celebrated knock outs in cinematic history? In one moment, George gets the girl, ends Biff’s reign of terror, and earns the admiration and respect of his peers and his son.
LESSON- sometimes, using force is the only viable option. Sometimes, it’s the only ethical course of action!
* DON’T EVER TINKER WITH THE SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM. It’s perilous. ‘Nuff said.
* ASSERTIVENESS IS KING. Following the parking lot incident, George is dancing with Lorraine when one of his classmates (who apparently didn’t get the memo that George was now a man to be reckoned with) rudely cuts in. Will George revert back to his ancient meek, weak and self-doubting ways? Not a chance. The impostor is quickly and firmly ‘cut out’, the dance continues, and the new romance glows a small hotter.
LESSON- the path between passivity and aggression is the best course. Assertiveness is a pattern of behavior – an energy- that announces the courtesy and respect you show for others is expected in return, and its well deserved.
* TIME TRAVEL IS VERY REAL – AND THAT’S GOOD NEWS FOR EVERYONE. No, you can’t hop into a tricked out sports car and glide into the past, or set the controls so you can skip decades into the future. But all of us are traveling forward through time, every day and every moment. Doc Brown’s pleased philosophical musing at the end of the last installment is both optimistic and uplifting: The future is not pre-ordained.
LESSON- We have the power to make our own fate.
* Bonus Tip
He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty. ~Lao Tsu
If your child is being bullied, roughed-up, intimidated or ostracized, you can help them turn their situation around quickly and permanently. The first step in developing a bully-proof child is teaching them self-control.
Posts Tagged ‘Bullied’
Parents Must Act If Their Child Is Being Bullied
Monday, July 12th, 2010Most Americans do not take bullying seriously. Sadly, school personnel don’t take it seriously either. One of the most common myths about bullying is that it is “habitual” and “everybody does it.” Nothing could be further from the truth.
Children with special needs may become the victim of a bully. If your child has been, or is, being victimized, he or she feels alone, unsafe and may even feel the persecution is justified. The things of bullying impression mental and physical shape and literary performance, evenly for many years after the actual incidents occur.
Who is a bully and what is bullying
Only about 15 to 20 percent of children are ever involved in bullying, either as a victim or as the bullying child. Bullies are children who have not urban the typical internal restraint system that other children have. Male bullies tend to favor physical aggression, while female bullies tend to strike at a victims’ social standing and friendships.
Bullies start their pattern of aggressive behavior at an early age, and take up again the pattern of intimidation for many years. A well-known Norwegian psychologist who pioneered the study of bullying and how to stop it, Dr. Dan Olweus, identified three basic elements of bullying—bullying involves: 1) a pattern of aggressive behavior, 2) from a child in a spot of power directed towards a child in a weaker spot, 3) with the intention to do harm.
Why does a child become the victim of a bully
Up until about age seven bullies pick on anyone. Between the ages of eight and 16, bullies target specific kids. Those who become targets are more sensitive, alert, and silent than other kids, and more nervous. They also have a negative view of violence, withdrawing from confrontations of any kind and crying when threatened or attacked. When confronted, they are gripped with dread.
The effect of bullying on a child can be loneliness, poor shape, depression, anxiety and poor learning
Being bullied leads to feeling nervous which then increases the child’s vulnerability to further persecution because bullies single out nervous kids. The difficulty victims have in sticking up for themselves seems to make other kids uncomfortable, and gradually, victims of bullying are rejected by their peers and become increasingly isolated and lonely. Research shows that social isolation and rejection produce severe stress.
Children being bullied dread going to school and have stress-induced illnesses such as stomachaches, and headaches. Even after the bullying ends, children who have been bullied are prone to depression and negative self-concept.
It is becoming more clear that children who are victimized have had limited practice in handling conflict. Children need to be given opportunity to solve their own problems. Over-defending parenting can erode a child’s critical problem-solving skills. But, overly strict discipline techniques have the same effect because they limit a child’s chances to learn how to interact and deal with disagreements and conflict.
How to Handle a Bully
Most of the following tips come from an article in print in Psychology Today by Hara Estroff Marano.
What Children Can Do:
What Parents Can Do:
School Bullies! Would You Know if Your Child is Being Bullied?
Saturday, June 12th, 2010Is your child developing weird behavioural problems.A few tell tale signs can suggest that your child is being bullied. Here are a few to question and deal with them previous to it becomes a very terrible situation to handle.Talking to your child evenly and building up strong family relationships can mean a child can tell you they are being bullied and you can intervene previous to its too late. Not all children tell their parents though. you can later explore further just in case a further problem is the produce of a child’s scarce behaviour.
1.If your child has a silent and shy personality bullying can evenly go a miss. A child who does not feel they can approach a parent will evenly not tell you there is a problem, or if they keep coming in from playing outside telling you “mum they keep hitting me” you can sometimes be so busy and sick of them coming in every 10 minutes or so that you “say oh go on and play”, sometimes you want them to fend for them selves and stick up for themselves but bullies evenly pray on children who don’t fight back. so when bulling has become a very serious issue your child will feel they are unable to approach you with any serious problem at all.A child can become withdrawn and not want to play outside after school with their acquaintances.
2.Stealing a child may result in stealing/shop lifting and hiding things from you and then giving them away to try make new acquaintances, it evenly has the bullies then stealing from their lunch boxes, sack cash etc because they are known as a soft touch, and the child who is bullied will feel they will leave me alone if i give into them. which is evenly not the case.The other children could still not want to make acquaintances with your child and may even produce more children to bully your child.. look out for hidden toys, pens, chocolate bars, cash hidden under the pillow or bed which you know you havent given them sack cash for.
3. Loneliness and not keen to join in with other children, its a excellent thought to get your child involved with as many out of school activities as possble, it can aleviate the problem of socializing with children of the same age and is a excellent way for your child to mix with adults too.When your child attends these fixed and is pleased with lots of acquaintances and suddenly doesnt want to join in it can evenly mean bullying is taking place wether at school or even at the activity class.
4.Your child can bully a younger member of the family in revenge against the bullies. Because the younger child is smaller and younger he/she may not be able to hold your son or daughter off if fighting occurs. Your older child will feel poweful and in control where usually the bullies strip this from him/her when bulling happens frequently to your child.
5.Bedwetting, soling of pants, a further tell tale sign that a touch is incorrect.(please note)Children can go through a bedwetting stage around 7so if it is bullying other signs have started to develop such as nightmares, dread of the bullies when you go down the street, thay may make excuses to go a further way round to avoid them.
we hope you never have to come across your child dealing with bulling the worse case was at age 11 one child out of a class of 30….26 children all against one student at school .The problems got worse until age 13 when the child got into a fight after having enough of bullying and finished up with detention plus striped of prefect duty in the last year at school.
Please note The above information is just a guide please look at all possiblities previous to rushing in at the deep end and shouting at the teachers, it could turn out that your child is the major bully after all.Take care why not stay our online store for more articles amd free advice for the under 5’s. at www.cheekychumsonline.co.uk
What if My Autistic Child is Being Bullied?
Tuesday, May 25th, 2010If your child with the disorder of autism has experienced bullying, there are things you can do to avoid it or stop it, as being parent(s), or caregiver(s). The first thing to consider, is what is the identification or facts about bullying?
* A bully has an attitude toward your child with autism, who has no compassion.
* A bully usually feels he or she has more power or is stronger in areas that your child is not, and will try to intimidate your child to have low self-esteem.
* Most bullies are insecure in many ways, and are usually lonely because they have very small or no social skills.
* Some bullies have a reputation of being a bully, and it makes the bully feel strong, so he or she must live up to his or her reputation of that categorize.
You, as parent(s), or caregiver(s), must establish a excellent relationship with your child, so he or she can feel comfortable coming to you without dread if there is bulling that is present. This could be taking place in school, functions, on the school bus, classroom, sports, even in family gatherings, and in families.
You can be on the alert, by identifying some of the bullying facts, and remembering, if your child does come to you with concerns about experiencing bullying, do not shut them out or ignore what he or she is expressing, to you.
It is an brilliant plot, to try and know why the bully is doing this to your child. Realize, that bullies want power and they usually want to ruin and take advantage in some way, of a weaker person, or an individual they can control or diminish. If your autistic child is being bullied, do not tolerate it, it must be stopped and corrected.
It is a challenge, but remember a schoolyard bully is too young to know why he or she is doing the bullying to your autistic child. This kind of an individual, who is doing the bullying, only knows what makes he or she, to feel better. That includes his or her lack of acquaintances and getting attention from others, which makes the bully feel he or she has acquaintances. As I have stated in this article, bullying must come to a halt.
If bullying continues after you as parent(s), caregivers(s), have taken steps to stop it, I would encourage you to contact your local or confidential school, to see if they have an anti-bullying program that is available, and for participation. If not, find out if you could start one and place it together and meet on a weekly or monthly schedule.
No child needs to be bullied. It must be stopped and with the help of parent(s) or caregiver(s) and their insight, it can be avoided.